The percentage of Americans who claim to have no religious affiliation (affectionately known as “Nones”) is growing steadily, particularly among Millenials. That trend, however, is only half as revealing as the statistics imply. Arguably, everyone is religious. Many just worship a different type of god. Reason was once such a new god. . . . Today, nature – as conceptualized by the political, cultural and social phenomenon of the Climate Change movement – has assumed the mantle of the new god de jour, particularly, again, among Millenials. Political and theological thoughts aside, the great irony is that the doctrine of the Climate Change faithful is no less dogmatic, absolute, exclusionary, evangelical or judgmental – and its existential conclusions require no less faith – than the traditional Judeo-Christian traditions which it so vociferously derides. The difference is that Christianity and Judaism acknowledge that it’s the leap of faith itself which makes their religion meaningful and transcendent. The Climate Change faithful have no such humility and, as such, embody the worst of both the pagan religions that they emulate and the mainstream religions that they deny.